


Matchmaker From Hell

by Dazeventura6



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Guide!Aaron, M/M, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Slow Burn, sentinel!Spencer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-18 19:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dazeventura6/pseuds/Dazeventura6
Summary: When Mr.Scratch attacks Hotch he comes online in the worst of circumstances and he needs all the help he can get. Will he be able to convince Spencer that he needs more than just the temporary bond they have?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by Anake14. Thanks for everything.

Aaron could feel something snap in his head.

There was something new in his mind that hadn’t been there before. As Peter Lewis sprayed him with his horrible cocktail of drugs again Aaron felt his head start to hurt like it was being split open from the inside. At first, he thought that it was just from the drugs and the blow to the head but now he could feel things he hadn’t been able to sense before.

Aaron could feel the malice and fear from Lewis like it was a separate being. The knowledge that Lewis blamed himself as much as he blamed everyone else for his father’s death was suddenly just there in the back of his mind. And then, it was like his senses exploded and he was feeling a million different feelings that seemed to come from every direction. He was sure they weren’t his own and he had no idea how to process them all.

Mr. Scratch was talking to him, asking him what he feared most and trying to get into his mind. He was trying to make Aaron see things and it was working but Aaron could tell that what he was seeing wasn’t real- how he could tell he wasn’t sure but he  _ knew _ . He didn’t know if he could trust what he was seeing or what he knew in his heart to be true. It hurt to watch the team die in front of him but he could feel that it wasn’t real and that helped.

Confused, worried, and drugged beyond belief he was so ready to hand over his gun to Rossi when the man approached him. Aaron wasn’t sure this Rossi was real but he could somehow feel his friends concern for him and he decided to trust that and let Dave take care of him for once.

As Aaron waited alone in the ambulance being patched up, he could still feel the drugs coursing through his system, he could also feel the paramedic’s mild concern for him and the satisfaction of all the cops with the arrest of Mr. Scratch. Aaron was sure he was going nuts. He would probably need a full psych exam and maybe he would lose Jack if he lost his mind. He couldn’t lose the last thing that made his life worth living.

As Aaron started to panic he felt a calm steady presence at his side. Looking up he looked into the worried hazel eyes of one of their team’s unbonded sentinels, their youngest member, Spencer Reid. Somehow with his mere presence, Spencer could chase away all Aaron’s doubts and fears. It had always been that way but now it just seemed more pronounced.

Ever since they had first met, a single touch of Spencer’s hand could calm Aaron’s anger and help him settle down but now the man didn’t even need to touch him it seemed. Aaron was grateful, so grateful that he barely snapped at Rossi when the man came up to him and started to push him into talking. Somehow having Spencer nearby made it easier to focus on his friend’s concern for him and not his own anger at what he had allowed to happen to him. Yes, he knew that it hadn’t really been his fault but somehow it felt like it was.

As he was describing what had happened with Lewis he was suddenly inundated with feelings which he was sure weren’t his. He didn’t know where they were coming from but they weren’t his, that much, he was sure of. As he buried his head in his hands ignoring Rossi’s worried inquiries until Reid pressed a steadying hand to the back of his neck and the feelings disappeared.

“Reid?” Aaron asked looking up startled as the presence of Reid in his mind grew and something settled in his mind. He didn’t understand how he could feel Reid in his mind like that but it wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

As long as Spencer could keep everyone else out Aaron didn’t mind having him there. Especially since his presence didn’t seem at all intrusive.

“I think Hotch needs to visit the S&G centre Rossi. I have a hunch but something about that drug cocktail must have brought him online as a guide. I can almost feel him screaming empathically. He needs to detox and learn to control his empathic shields.” Spencer said his hand lightly stroking and tracing patterns on the back of Aaron’s neck that was strangely soothing.

“Guide? Aaron’s not a guide?” Rossi almost squeaked in consternation.

“He’s been latent all his life and I doubt he thought he would ever come online since he hasn’t so far. It’s going to be a tough adjustment since he’s so much older than the usual age for newly online guides but yeah, Aaron is a guide. If you ask Morgan you’ll find he can feel him as well.” Spencer said sighing, “Come on Hotch. Let’s get you some help.” He finished taking Aaron’s hand and tugging gently to get Aaron to follow him to his car.

Now that he had been patched up by the paramedics Aaron wanted to go straight home and reassure himself that Jack was alright but somehow he found himself following along with Spencer, unwilling to relinquish the touch of the genius’ hand in his as he walked.

The drive to the centre was quiet with Aaron just concentrating on the touch of Spencer’s hand in his as the junior agent drove them.

~*~

Spencer had been worried about Hotch for a few days now. Ever since the case had come up there had been something just slightly off about the older man. It wasn’t particularly noticeable since nobody else on the team could tell but it worried the genius. When nothing happened he had wondered if he was imagining things, but when they had walked into that house to find a bloody Hotch holding his gun in shaking hands he had known.

Hotch had come online as a guide. He had stood in silence and allowed Rossi to handle the panicked Hotch hoping the older man would be able to get Hotch calm and that he wouldn’t need to interfere. He really didn’t want to be the one to stabilize the older man. Spencer was fairly adept at controlling his senses by himself with only occasional help from one of the guides on the team, JJ or Garcia. He didn’t want a guide. He had never wanted one and had figured that no guide would want him with his history.

If he got involved now, touched Hotch in any way then considering Hotch’s condition they would form a partial bond and he would need that bond for a few months before they could look for a more suitable candidate for Hotch to bond with. Reid didn’t think his boss would be too happy having Spencer in his head for months on end, not to mention living with him and Jack for the duration.

But Rossi left to help process Lewis and Hotch wasn’t calming down and Hotch was, in fact, starting to panic. Careful not to get too close, Spencer walked closer and stood next to Aaron until he felt the man begin to calm. The genius was surprised that Aaron calmed so quickly with just his presence but he would take anything he could get. Then Rossi showed up again and started prodding Hotch to talk and Spencer could almost see Hotch’s empathy spike.

Wincing slightly in sympathy he gave in to the inevitable and placed his hand on Hotch’s neck, soothing the older man as best he could before leading him to one of their SUV’s and asking the junior agent to drive them to the S&G centre.

It was done, now they would all just have to live with it Spencer thought as they drove in silence with his hand firmly caught in Hotch’s.

~*~*~*~*~*~


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer watched sadly as the doctors in the S&G centre examined Hotch and all the while the older man’s eyes never left him. Spencer had learned a long time ago to compartmentalize his feelings so any nearby guides wouldn’t be able to tell what he was feeling, but he wasn’t sure how well it would work when he was bonded to the guide. He really hoped he could keep his secrets.

Spencer had come online as a sentinel in spectacular fashion at 12 when his high school bullies had decided to tie him naked to the pole on the football field. As they were tying him up Reynard had appeared and attacked the bullies chasing them off and freed Spencer.  The backlash from the incident had resulted in Spencer being fast-tracked through the rest of his high school courses so he could leave the bullies behind and start college early.

The local S&G centre had been very helpful even if his school was reluctant to take him seriously. After all, it was just his word against theirs. The centre had helped Spencer get his mother settled in Bennington sanitarium so he wouldn’t have to worry about her care and also provided him with accommodations at Caltech with a bonded sentinel guide couple who would act as his official chaperones and tutors in all things sentinel related.

Martha and John Nolan had been very kind to Spencer acting like the parents he had never had and the young genius had lived with them up until he left California to join the FBI under Gideon’s urging. The young genius still wrote to them, sending them letters at the same time as he did his mother. Spencer’s gifts meant that he had no trouble passing the physical requirements of the courses or the academic requirements making him an object of jealousy from many candidates who thought him too young.

Hotch had been the one who had taken the young sentinel under his wing and helped him settle in. Gideon had been too distant and self-involved to care but Hotch, and later Morgan had helped Spencer a lot. Morgan, as the other unbonded sentinel, had been like a big brother to Spencer. They had helped each other out, each knowing when the other needed a little extra help with their gifts.

Hotch was different though. The young genius had long nurtured a crush on his boss but he had known that nothing would come of it so he had buried those feelings deep and refused to think of them. Now he would be forced to live with the man for months on end and he didn’t know how he was going to cope when Aaron found someone else to bond with.   

Reynard, Spencer’s red fennec fox spirit animal, materialized next to him and pressed against his side. The young genius didn’t resist the pull and simply slid to the floor taking the animal into his lap. He watched Aaron’s eyes widen as the older man saw Reynard for the first time and began to grasp the significance of it. Unable to bring himself to meet Hotch’s eyes and see the dismay there Spencer simply buried his face in the fox’s thick fur and tried to block out everything. He succeeded to a certain extent, he blocked out everything, everything that is except his newfound guide’s heartbeat.

Despite being deep inside his own head Spencer noticed the approach of small footsteps followed closely by more adult definitely feminine footsteps.

Jack was here, with Jessica.

Spencer raised his head and looked towards the door as the boy raced in and flung himself at his father despite the doctors and nurses trying to get in his way. Nobody was sure what the boy’s emotions would do to Hotch if he touched him in his current state. But Hotch, he just wrapped the boy in his arms and soothed him like he always had. Spencer was surprised and then wondered why he was surprised; Jack always came first for Hotch, even before his own desires.

The genius merely watched quietly from his corner as the doctors finished their examination and left the room with a promise to come and check on Hotch in the morning when the drugs were out of his system. As they left with Jessica throwing Spencer a knowing look as she herded a reluctant Jack in front of her.

“Spencer?” Aaron said with a question in his voice.

“Are you sure you want me to tell you now? Wouldn’t you rather wait till morning?” Spencer asked quietly, unspoken were the words,  _ let the professionals tell you _ .

“You, please,” Aaron replied and Spencer nodded once.

“You came online as a guide. Because of the drugs in your system and the things Lewis said to you when you first emerged you partially bonded to me when I touched you. That’s why you can see Reynard now. We can break the bond just as soon as you are ready and you can find a more suitable sentinel to bond with them.” Spencer finished, holding his fox closer subconsciously.

He was so intent on reassuring Aaron that the bonding was only temporary that he didn’t notice the flash of disappointment that flitted across Aaron’s face when Spencer spoke of breaking their bond.

“How-how long will that be?” Aaron asked quickly, causing a small crack in Spencer’s already battered heart.

“I’m not sure. It could be a few weeks or a few months. It depends on how much the drugs affected you.”

Aaron nodded, “So…how will this work then, between us? Will you umm have to move in with Jack and me for the duration?” he asked.

Spencer cringed a little inside. There really didn’t seem to be a way he could get out of this without getting hurt.

“Yeah, I will be moving in with you. I hope that’s ok. I really am sorry about this, Hotch. I wish there had been another way.” Spencer replied.

“You’ll stay? Now I mean? Until I can leave here you’ll stay?” Hotch asked, almost pleading with the younger man.

“Yes, Hotch I’ll stay,” Spencer said, as he slowly got up and moved towards Aaron. Aaron latched on and grabbed his hand to hold as soon as he was within range making Spencer smile wryly.

“Would you like me to hold you?” The genius asked gently.

Aaron nodded a little embarrassed by his need but unable to deny that he needed Spencer’s presence more than he could say.

“Scoot over,” Spencer said and climbed into the bed next to his guide.

The two men curled up together with Spencer spooned around the older man.

“So your fox, he’s named Reynard?” Aaron asked softly, knowing that Spencer would hear him despite the softness of the question.

“Yes, Reynard kinda means fox in French so he’s essentially named Fox. He’s a fennec fox. They are found in desert climates so I guess it’s not really surprising that a kid from Vegas would end up with a desert fox for a spirit animal.” Spencer answered just as softly, his words spoken almost directly into the older man’s ear thanks to the position they were in. Strangely, lying in Spencer’s arms felt very comfortable to both men, there was no awkwardness or discomfort in their new bond and it helped settle Aaron even more.

“I guess I’ll have one too, won’t I? Spirit animal I mean.” Aaron mumbled sleepily.

Spencer merely hummed in agreement as Aaron soon fell asleep with Spencer following after, the sound of his guide’s heartbeat soothing him to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack had been ecstatic to have Spencer, his partner in numerous experiments and magic, living with them even if it was only for a little while. Spencer had tried to stress that it would only be for a few months but the boy wasn’t listening. He was just happy to have one of his favourite people living with them.

It didn’t take long for Spencer to pack up what he needed and move into the guest bedroom at the Hotchners. Nominally Spencer was sleeping in the guest bedroom but he eventually ended up in Aaron’s room holding the guide until he could sleep thanks to the nightmares that plagued both men. Aaron usually initiated it but Spencer never denied him, how could he deny what he wanted most even if it was going to hurt like hell when it ended.

It was two weeks before Aaron was stable enough to be back in the field.

~*~*~*~*~

Their first case back was a nightmare for Aaron. The emotions of the bystanders at crime scenes, the cops, even the killer, were bombarding him from every direction and he really regretted his argument with Spencer when the sentinel had told him he wasn’t ready for it. As usual, Spencer had been right. Dashiell, Aaron’s black wolf spirit animal, was pacing along with his human clearly visible to everyone who was even remotely sensitive and betraying his guide’s discomfort. Aaron quickly made his excuses and left Morgan and Dave in charge in the field. Aaron retreated to the field office and the sentinel friendly room where Spencer was trying to work out a geographical profile and moved to put his arms around him resting his forehead on the back of Spencer’s neck.

As soon as Spencer’s hands came up to touch his own and hold them Aaron relaxed and managed to shut his empathy down. He had no idea how Spencer had managed his senses without a guide for so long and he really admired him. Dashiell settled next to them and soon Reynard was curled up with the wolf as well helping settle Aaron even more.

“It will get easier Aaron. You came online late, so late that even you thought you were never going to come online. Give yourself a little credit. You are doing marvellously well for someone who came online so late.” Spencer said soothingly as he turned to take his guide in his arms and rub soothing circles in Aaron’s back.

“You’re just saying I’m old.” Aaron joked weakly and Spencer smiled indulgently.

“Uh huh. And he completely ignores the point again.” Spencer teased gently making Aaron smile back. The smile was a little weak but it was definitely a smile and Spencer would take what he could get.

After a few minutes holding Spencer and burying himself in the soothing presence of his sentinel, Aaron was able to pull away albeit reluctantly and refocus on the case.

“So what do you have for me?” Aaron asked as Spencer studied him for a minute longer before nodding to himself and going on to explain what he thought about the locations where the unsub had killed and the probability of the man devolving rapidly. 

When they finally tracked down the unsub Aaron listened to his sentinel and stayed in the background. Spencer was afraid about what the damaged psyche of the unsub would do if Hotch was exposed to it without more substantial shields than he currently managed. It grated on Aaron but he listened, he had already experienced how bad things could get if he didn’t listen to Spencer and he had no intention of a repeat. Even the barest touch of the unsub’s emotions that he had felt at the crime scene had been bad enough.

By the time they got on the plane again, Aaron was beyond frustrated with himself despite Spencer’s reassurances. On top of that, his sentinel was upset, the case seemed to have hit the younger man hard as most cases involving schizophrenic unsubs did, even Spencer’s presence in his mind was agitated instead of soothing. Aaron tried to build his shields back up the way he had been taught at the centre but he couldn’t seem to focus with the team’s emotions bouncing off him and he finally gave up and moved to the seat next to Spencer snuggling close to the younger man.

The contact seemed to soothe both men and it wasn’t long before they were both asleep together unaware of the worried looks they were getting.

~*~

As soon as they landed the rest of the team cornered Spencer. The concern written on every face was the only thing that kept Spencer from snarling at them. He was tired and heartsore and he just wanted a night in the quiet and comfort of Aaron’s home.

“Kid, are you guys ok?” Morgan started, placing a friendly hand on Spencer’s shoulder and squeezing lightly.

“It’s been difficult. More for him than me and I don’t really think he was ready for the chaos that our cases really are. But I think we’ll be fine. Especially if he listens to me and takes another few weeks off to get his shields strengthened.” Spencer answered, smiling slightly.

“You sure? This bond of yours doesn’t seem complete to me?” Garcia asked anxiously, the normally perky woman fidgeting nervously as she spoke.

“That would be because it isn’t. It’s just a partial bond that formed at the crime scene. We haven’t done anything to make it permanent. As soon as he is stable and finds a new sentinel to stabilize him we will dissolve this partial bond we have and go our separate ways.” Spencer answered doing his best not to snarl at the woman.

“Oh, but are you sure that’s the best thing? You two are so perfect for each other. Don’t you think..?” Garcia started but Spencer cut her off with a gesture.

“No. I do not think. When he’s stable in himself we will dissolve the bond and he will find someone else. Someone better suited to him. I am happy on my own. I’ve been on my own for most of my life and I like it that way.” Spencer said definitely. He wasn’t going to argue this with any more people.

“Ok kid. If that’s the way you want it. We’ll respect that.” Rossi said patting Spencer on the shoulder and the rest of the team reluctantly nodded also patting Spencer’s shoulder as they left to get to their paperwork.

No sooner were they settled in with pizza and paperwork when Kate’s daughter Meg was kidnapped. Kate’s emotions during the search for her were nearly enough to send Aaron catatonic. He had never felt so much pain and fear from anyone before. Arron barely managed to stay functional and it was only with a lot of help from Spencer that he managed to be the unit chief that they all remembered. Thankfully they managed to find Meg and Aaron decided that it would be best if he took a few more weeks to get used to his online status before he came back to work full-time.

Considering Kate’s emotional upheaval during the kidnapping, Aaron wasn’t surprised in the least when she decided to quit. JJ’s announcement that she was pregnant too, on the other hand, was a surprise. A very pleasant one. Spencer was ecstatic and Aaron enjoyed being around the sentinel and all the happy excited feelings he got from the man whenever JJ was mentioned.

Aaron and Spencer took a month off to deal with his empathy issues and to help stabilize their partial bond. Aaron was beginning to wonder if they might make it a more permanent bond. Spencer was someone he knew and cared for a great deal. He always had, and Spencer cared about both him and Jack. Spencer also knew everything there was to know about the job and the nightmares that came with it. It would be ideal if they could make it permanent but Aaron could see how the young genius might not be willing to take on an older man with so much baggage and a kid. Besides Aaron wasn’t sure he could love Spencer the way he needed to or the way the young genius deserved.

Ever since Maeve the younger man had seemed to close off on any kind of romantic relationship and no amount of prodding from Garcia or JJ could induce him to even make an effort to ask someone out. Aaron wasn’t sure he blamed the younger man entirely for that but it saddened Aaron. Spencer deserved a love that was complete and unconditional more than anyone else and Aaron wasn’t sure he would be the one who could love him like that. So he kept quiet about his thoughts about their bond and learned as much as he could from the other guides at the centre.

He learned to interact with his spirit animal and to gain some stability and comfort from him. He had named his black wolf Dashiell after one of his favourite writers and it seemed to fit the animal. As he interacted with it more and learned to understand what his empathy was telling him he became more comfortable in his own skin. Aaron had never felt better and more centred in his life.

~*~


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer could see that Aaron was gaining better control of his mental shields with every session with the guides at the centre. The more he learned the closer they got to breaking the partial bond between them, and yet Aaron never mentioned it, and Jack acted like Spencer was going to be living with them forever. It hurt his heart and confused him that both the Hotchner men and Jessica treated him like he would be living with them permanently. Jessica was even pushing him to bring some of his books over and set them up in the attic so they could turn it into a den/study for Spencer when he needed some alone time. Spencer wasn’t sure what to do when even Aaron encouraged him to do it. He got very quiet and sensing his discomfort they let it go.

The bright spot in his days was the extra time he got to spend with Jack. When JJ had the new baby Spencer took to spending most of his free time at her place taking Jack along with him so he could play with Henry and give JJ some much-needed peace and quiet. Spencer loved spending so much time with his godsons and Jack. The boys were so much fun, so eager to learn all the new things he could teach them and the baby was so sweet and small. Babies smelled so new and pure in some way it made Spencer happy to be around them. He remembered well when Henry had been that small and he enjoyed it.

When they finally went back to work Aaron was almost at full strength and had learnt to control his gifts. He just needed to test them out against in the real world and gain some confidence in his emotional reads of the crime scenes and only experience and a few cases would help with that.

Physically Spencer was quite willing to let Aaron into his space and provide him with the comfort and support he needed to shore up his shields but mentally he had never been more on guard around his boss. He refused to allow a single thought or emotion to leak through the bond that wasn’t soothing or calm and the strain of keeping himself so in check was wearing on him. And with Aaron gaining strength and stability the need for physical comfort was less and less as the days went by, something that Spencer was both resentful of and thankful for at the same time.

They were down one profiler and with JJ soon to be on maternity leave the team was scrambling to catch up and also recruit someone new to replace Kate. By the time JJ had her new baby boy and left for maternity leave they still hadn’t found a replacement and were now down two profilers. Thankfully it was a quiet few months spent mostly doing paperwork which Spencer was grateful for in a way. He wasn’t sure how effective he would be as a sentinel with all the effort he was putting into keeping Aaron out of his emotions despite the bond.

~*~

By the time the case with the hitman came across their desks, Spencer was almost near breaking point. He was so grateful to have something else to focus his mind on that he almost zoned out at the first crime scene he visited. And it was only Morgan’s hand on his shoulder that brought him back. It was the first time he had zoned in years and he cursed himself thoroughly and determined that he would talk to Aaron about breaking the bond once JJ got back. He didn’t want to disrupt the team right now.

Aaron could feel Spencer’s need across the bond but before he could react to it the man had pulled himself out and shut Aaron out again. It was beginning to frustrate Aaron no end that his sentinel wouldn’t let him or anyone else close enough. He hadn’t realized just how much Spencer had pulled back from all of them until recently. The younger man had always been extremely independent but now he took it to extremes and only Jack and occasionally Morgan and Garcia were able to breach the walls he had built.

Spencer was still Spencer as far as Aaron could see. He was still almost scarily smart, still funny, and still adorably awkward but he had also learned how to effectively hold everyone around him at a distance without raising anybody’s concerns. Aaron was wondering if maybe when she got back JJ could give him some insight into the young genius. He felt that he should be doing more to help the younger man.

But the minute JJ returned they were involved in a case and then Spencer was on leave, having gone to visit his mother who wasn’t doing as well as could be expected. Another thing Aaron had not known about until Spencer was standing in front of him asking him for a few days off.

~*~

Aaron could scream he was so frustrated. The bond between them was faint with all the distance between them but he could still feel Spencer’s pain for the few minutes before the sentinel reined it in and locked it away. Aaron had immediately called Spencer to find out what was wrong.

“Spencer, what’s wrong?” Aaron asked as soon as the genius answered the phone.

“It-it’s nothing Hotch. Just…things aren’t going as well as expected with mom. I might be out here a few more weeks. Is that alright?” Spencer asked swallowing down his grief and pushing it off.

“Don’t lie to me, Spencer. If you don’t want to tell me now, that’s fine. But don’t lie to me please.” Aaron said clenching his fists in frustration. Why was his sentinel being so stubborn about letting him in?

“It’s really nothing anyone can do anything about Hotch. Don’t worry about it.” Spencer tried again.

“Do you need me there? I’m sure I can manage a little time off if you need me?” Aaron asked hesitantly. He was almost sure what Spencer would say but he had to try.

“That’s not necessary. I’m fine and there are some guide’s here at Bennington for emergencies. Besides, I don’t think you should be taking any time off when there are hitmen after Garcia. You take care of her. I can take care of myself.” Spencer said shortly before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Aaron wanted to cry out that Spencer was his sentinel and shouldn’t have to rely on other guides but he couldn’t. Pushing the sentinel now would only result in Spencer closing up even more and being stubborn about it so Aaron focused all his frustrations on the group of hitmen who were targeting Garcia much to his dissatisfaction.

Garcia living in FBI headquarters was strange and something to get used to. Aaron did his best to keep her spirits up using his guide gifts to soothe away the worst of her fears and discomfort of living at her place of work. At least someone was letting him help.

When they caught Cochran and got the list of names from him he hoped it would be a happy ending for Penelope, but the man lawyered up and he was forced to tell her that she would have to stay a little longer. Garcia was a wonderful person and even in her distress, she managed to cheer Aaron up rather than the other way around.

“You are alright aren’t you, Penelope?” Aaron asked hesitantly

“Well, uh, I don't really have a choice, do I?” She asked sadly.

“No. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” Aaron replied feeling terrible that he was the one who had to give her this news.

“Well, then, yes, I am hunky dory. I am. I'm, um I'm gonna put some satin sheets on that, I'm gonna put a splash of colour over there. I'm gonna put some tassels on that thing.” She said trying to cheer up.

“But it's not gonna be forever,” Aaron said with certainty. He and the rest of the team would do whatever it took to keep her safe and get her back home where she belonged.

“I know and hey, I'm gonna make myself a vegetarian omelette for dinner. Do you want one?” Penelope asked getting up and bustling about to stay busy and distract herself from her thoughts.

“Well, uh Jack's already in bed, and Spencer is still in Vegas. So, you have jalapenos?

“I'm sorry? Um, do-do I have ja- I want you to know, I have had a love affair with all things hot and spicy since I was like 12. Uh, what have we got? Oh, my gosh. Green peppers.” Garcia burbled making Aaron smile at her antics feeling happier than he had been when he came in.

“So how is it going with Spencer anyway? You two seem to work well together, sir. But then you always have, I don’t see why a bond would change things.” Garcia asked when the omelettes were made and being consumed.

“It’s fine. It’s going fine.” Aaron answered frowning as he thought of the sentinel.

“But….I can see that there’s a but in there somewhere.” Garcia prodded.

“But he refuses to let me in even the slightest bit. He keeps himself so shut off from everyone and everything. I never noticed how much until now.” Aaron confessed a tiredly.

“He’s always been like that. Worse after Maeve died. For a few months, when he was talking to her weekly, he was so much more open and happy it was wonderful being around him but then she died and he just shut down. Give him a little time and maybe he will open up to you? He’s a good man, just doesn’t trust many people with his feelings.” Garcia said comfortingly.

“He is. He’s one of the best men I have ever met. I really wish he would let me help him. I’m going to keep trying though, no matter how stubborn he gets.”

“If there’s anyone who can out-stubborn our genius it’s you, sir. I have no doubt of that.” Garcia said giggling a little.

“Are you making fun of me, Penny?” Aaron asked smiling a little.

“No, sir. I would never.” Garcia returned trying to control her giggles. But she couldn’t and just collapsed in a fit of giggles with Aaron watching indulgently.

The rest of the meal passed companionably enough with a discussion of the kind of gift Rossi was going to bring her when he got back.

~*~


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was busy and forgot to post on Friday.

The worst part of his separation from Spencer was that he could see that Spencer would answer calls from the rest of the team more often than he would Aaron’s. Spencer seemed to be pulling himself further and further away in the bond. It almost felt like there was nothing there anymore.

When he finally came back, acting like there was nothing wrong. Playing with Jack, chatting with Jessica about her work, Spencer was the picture of relaxed sentinel. But Aaron could tell that there was some deep-seated grief buried just out of reach of his bond with the sentinel and he wasn’t being allowed to soothe it away.

Aaron had planned to confront Spencer on his way to work when they were alone in the car but the wily genius had slipped away early saying that he had made plans to meet up with Morgan for breakfast. Aaron sighed as he pressed a kiss to the top of Jack’s head and called a quick goodbye to Jessica before he left.

The unit chief watched Spencer carefully even as they were working to trap Kat and the group of hitmen but outwardly the genius didn’t show any signs of distress. It was very faint even in the bond and it made Aaron wonder just how much the younger man had concealed from the team over the years. He really wished he could get through to him but as such he didn’t know where to even begin.

~*~

Finding out about Diana’s diagnosis was like a blow to Spencer’s heart. It was just one more reason not to bond with anyone. What guide would want a sentinel who wouldn’t remember them anymore? Granted it was rare that sentinels were susceptible to the disease but Spencer wasn’t sure he was worth the risk for anyone.

He was losing his mother and there was a big chance that he would lose himself at the end. Aaron was trying very hard to worm his way into Spencer’s mind through the bond and Spencer didn’t know how he was going to get out of this.

When Kat finally managed to get the truth about his mother’s condition out of him it was almost a relief. He could hear the hurt in his guide’s voice over the coms and the concern in Garcia’s. Spencer knew that none of the team were going to let him be without discussing it to death but he was most worried about Hotch’s reaction.

When Kat and her accomplice had been carted off and Spencer had seen Morgan home he wandered back to the swings in the nearby park and settled himself on the swings mind going a mile a minute, reminiscing over the few good memories of his mother before the disease had taken her away from him. Aaron found him there.

Aaron had used their bond for the first time to find his sentinel and he wasn’t sure if it would even work since Spencer was hiding so much from the bond. When he finally found the genius he seemed so lost in his own mind that he didn’t even notice Aaron’s presence. It wasn’t till Spencer suddenly looked straight into Aaron’s eyes that he realized that Spencer had been aware of him all along.

“So, now you know,” Spencer said looking up.

“Now I know. I-is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?” Aaron asked approaching hesitantly.

Spencer just shook his head still staring at the ground and refusing to meet Aaron’s eyes.

“Spencer, please. Just let me in a little. You don’t need to let me in completely, just a little, just enough for me to help you with this. I want to help. It’s faint but I can feel how much you are hurting.” Aaron pleaded. He was at his wit's end. He needed to do something.

“I’m sorry. I can do better.” Spencer said tightening his own mental barriers.

“No. That is NOT what I meant. Spencer. Let me HELP. Please.” Aaron exploded coming closer and pulling Spencer out of the swings and into his arms.

Spencer finally let go of all his barriers and fell sobbing into Aaron’s arms. He finally, finally let out all the pain and worry he had been feeling for the past few months. He cried out all his uncertainty over his bond with Aaron and the pain from knowing it would inevitably end. Aaron nearly staggered from the weight of grief he felt from Spencer but he didn’t say anything, merely wrapped his sentinel in the warmth of his caring and the love he felt for him and rubbed soothing patterns on the genius’ back.

Eventually, Spencer calmed enough for Aaron to coax him into his car and drive him back home. Aaron was really grateful that Jack had a sleepover at his friend’s house and wouldn’t be around to see Spencer in such a state.

When Spencer collapsed on the couch curling into a ball at the end of it Aaron sank down beside him and pulled the younger man into his arms despite Spencer’s feeble protests.

“Talk to me, Spencer. I know there’s nothing I can do to make your mother better but I can listen.” Aron coaxed softly.

“What’s there to say, Aaron? If it wasn’t bad enough that schizophrenia is in my blood now I have Alzheimer’s as well. I can never have kids. I was never going to have any of my own anyway because of mom and the schizophrenia but I thought maybe someday I could adopt. Now I can’t even do that. No kid needs a parent who won’t even remember who they are in a few years.” Spencer said sadly his face buried in the guide’s neck.

“I think you would make an excellent father. You are so good with Jack and Henry. And now Michael.” Aaron said holding Spencer closer.

Spencer gave a broken laugh at this, “That’s the irony, isn’t it. I want kids but I can’t have any. It wouldn’t be fair to the kids.”

“And what about you Spencer? What’s fair to you? You do know that you being a sentinel the odds of you inheriting any of those illnesses is slim to none right?” Aaron asked his heartbreaking for the man in his arms even as he pushed comfort and reassurance through the bond.

“Slim to none still means there’s a chance. I can’t take that kind of chance on a kid’s life. Especially since I’ll probably be a single parent. What kind of person would want someone like me as a partner anyway?” Spencer asked tremulously.

“Don’t sell yourself short Spencer Reid. You’re a powerful sentinel, decorated FBI agent, brilliant, kind and funny. You are one of the best people I have ever met.” Aaron said feeling a little angry that Spencer would say this, think this about himself.

“You forget I’m also someone who might develop not just schizophrenia but Alzheimer’s sometime in the next couple of decades. Quite the catch.” Spencer sighed.

“Spencer…” Aaron started.

“It’s fine Aaron. I’ve accepted it. I thought I had accepted it a long time ago but apparently not as well as I thought. Hope dies a hard death I guess.” Spencer said pulling out of Aaron’s arms and getting up. “I’m tired. I’m gonna head to bed now. Do you need me to sleep in your room tonight?” he asked as he made his way upstairs.

“No, it’s fine. Goodnight, Spencer.” Aaron said sadly wondering what it would take for this amazing man to see himself the way other people saw him.

~*~


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks, Aaron watched as Spencer threw himself into spending more time than ever with his godsons and Jack. He also spent as much time as he could with the rest of the team. It seemed to Aaron that Spencer was trying to make as many memories as possible. He was watching the young genius entertaining the boys in the backyard of Rossi’s home after one of their team dinners when it struck him exactly why Spencer was doing this.

Rossi came up behind him and stood next to Aaron watching the boys as well.

“He’s trying to make as many memories as he can for himself before he starts to lose them,” Rossi commented.

“No, Dave. He’s trying to make as many memories as possible  _ for the rest of us.  _ **_He_ ** won’t remember them after all, or so he thinks.” Aaron corrected softly.

“You know, you may be right about that. That kid amazes me sometimes with how blind he is to his own virtues.” Rossi commented.

“All his life he had never come first with anyone. He puts us all first but he has never come first for anyone. We all have other things going in our lives, family, partners who have to come first but not him. Even with his mother, he doesn’t come first. He can’t. As much as she loves him her disease comes first. It always has. Even in our bond he puts me first and I can’t do the same, even after I got my empathy under control he couldn’t come first because there’s Jack. He deserves better. He deserves someone who will put him first in everything. Someone who can love him like that.” Aaron said sadly his eyes glued to the young genius currently trying to teach magic tricks to two boys.

“Is that why you haven’t completed the bond? You know Aaron we don’t come first for him either. His mother comes first and those boys, all three of them come first for him. And Reid would be the first to tell you that putting Jack first is just the way it should be. He would never be resentful of that, hell he puts Jack first as well. And what Spencer deserves is someone who loves and cares for him enough to understand all of him. Like you do. You might want to think about that before you break the bond for his own good.” Rossi said before he moved away to chat with Tara and JJ.

Aaron wondered about this, did he love Spencer? He cared for the younger man but did he love him? Could he take the chance with loving someone again? Beth had been nice but she had done all the chasing and it had been comfortable but there had been nothing more than a mild fondness on his part. That had been why he had encouraged her to follow her dreams first to New York and then to Hong Kong. There had been no hurt feelings or loss on his side. He had been more worried about Jack and how the boy would handle it but Jack seemed to take it in stride like he did most things. Aaron wasn’t so sure that Jack could take Spencer leaving the same way. For that matter, he wasn’t so sure  _ he _ would be able to handle it either.

Aaron knew that Spencer was waiting for him to start looking for a new sentinel to bond with. The separation when Spencer was in Vegas had shown Aaron that he could manage with minimal to no help and he didn’t really need a sentinel. But Aaron found he needed the bond with Spencer, no matter how shut down the other man was in the bond he needed it to tell him what little it did of the other man’s feelings and emotions. He needed to know that Spencer was well and as happy as he could be. Aaron was just not willing to let go and he didn’t know how to tell Spencer.

So maybe he  _ did _ love Spencer. But he would have to be sure before he brought it up with Spencer or even Jack. He didn’t want to hurt anyone if he was wrong or get hurt himself if Spencer didn’t feel the same way.

~*~

As soon as he arrived the crime scene Spencer was overwhelmed by the scent of blood. Blood from the victim, the headless corpse of Amy Gibb. There didn’t seem to be any other scents on the body, noting distinctive of the killer. It was strange though that there was a strong scent of wood around the body. Spencer just filed it away to puzzle over later. Maybe it would make more sense the more they learned about the case.

Morgan and he walked through the scene and visited the other bodies in the morgue as well after JJ and Rossi had returned but nothing jumped out at them. It was finally Garcia talking about Katanas and corporal punishment that finally helped Spencer make the connection. The man was using a guillotine to cut off the heads. This was some kind of punishment for the victims for their crimes.

~*~

Walking into the scene with the unsub ready to drop the blade on his victim was not ideal and the man’s pain and guilt hit Aaron like a ton of bricks but he managed to control himself enough to stall the man till they could get in position to stop him even if he did drop the blade.

In the end, they saved the unsub’s intended victim and catch the unsub so it was a win for the team. Even more, Aaron had proven to himself that he could filter out the emotions of the others and use them to work the case. He didn’t really need the bond anymore.  _ Now, what was he going to do? _ He knew that Spencer had noticed. From the looks the younger man was shooting him Aaron knew that Spencer was wondering when he would start looking for a new sentinel.

_ But Aaron really didn’t want another sentinel. He didn’t want someone new who might come in and disrupt the team dynamic. He just wanted the one he had. Aaron wanted Spencer, now how to get his reluctant sentinel to let him in? _

~*~*~*~*~


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer didn’t understand it at all. Aaron had proved to everyone that he could handle his new empathy and gifts perfectly, so what was he waiting for? Why wasn’t Aaron pushing to find a new sentinel, or even just break the bond since he didn’t seem to need Spencer all that much? Every time Spencer tried to bring it up Aaron distracted him with work or Jack and Spencer just didn’t get it.

Maybe the man was being kind and giving Spencer time to come to terms with his mother’s diagnosis but it didn’t feel like that. Aaron was sticking close to him, sitting next to him in briefings and on the jet, staying with him as much as possible in the field. Not that the older man didn’t send him into the field with the others but he did try to pair himself with Spencer more often than not.

Spencer was just finishing up his case files on the mother-son unsub duo case and didn’t that just give him shivers every time he thought about it. It made him extremely grateful for his own mother who even as ill as she was would have never dreamed of manipulating him that way. As he finished his paperwork and started trading insults with Morgan who had brought his own out into the bullpen for a change when Hotch came out of his office and walked towards him. Spencer had been waiting for his boss to finish so they could go home together.

“Ready?” Aaron asked as he neared the genius.

“Yup. Let me just grab my things.” Spencer said packing up his bag and slinging it across his shoulder.

They said their goodbyes to the team and made their way to Aaron’s car.

Once they were in the car Aaron asked, “Jack has a sleepover tonight. So what do you say we go to the Chinese place near home and have dinner there?”

“We could just get takeout,” Spencer said shifting uncomfortably.

“We get takeout often enough. For a change let’s eat in the restaurant? Please? If you are tired then we can get takeout but I really want a change?” Hotch asked a pleading note in his voice.

“Alright,” Spencer answered his gaze trained out the window, refusing to look at his guide. He didn’t understand this.  _ Maybe Aaron was finally going to tell him he had found a new sentinel and he wanted to do it in a public place _ , Spencer wondered.

But no, when they got there Aaron opened the door for him, pulled out the chair for him. He seemed to be treating it almost like it was a date.  _ That couldn’t be right, could it? _

Conversation during dinner was easy and neither man mentioned their partial bond or anything about breaking it. Aaron was really enjoying this date he had managed to finesse. He knew that he was puzzling the genius and he just hoped that he would get a few more dates like this out of the genius before he figured it out.

The night was enjoyable and both men had a good time once Spencer started to relax and just go with the flow. He had not had a meal alone with Hotch in a long time and the genius was just remembering how much he had missed those. They had stopped once Hotch had started seeing Beth and Spencer hoped that it would continue once their bond was broken.

When they got home Spencer went about unpacking their go bags and putting their things in the wash as Aaron locked up and set the alarm. When it was done both men headed up to bed. When Spencer moved to walk into the guestroom Aaron stopped him with and on his arm. When Spencer turned to look at him quizzically he smiled gently and pulled the younger man into his arms.

Aaron held Spencer close, appreciating the way the genius’ lanky body fit against his. The feel of Spencer’s lean hard planes against his own body was comforting and arousing at the same time. Aaron savoured it for a few minutes before pulling back and pressing a kiss to Spencer’s cheek.

“Goodnight Spencer.” He said softly and smiled as he turned and walked into his own room knowing that he was thoroughly confusing the younger man but not sure how else to woo his sentinel.

Aaron would have liked to have kissed Spencer on the lips but he had chickened out at the last second. Hell, if he were wishing for things he would have liked to invite Spencer to share his bed and not strictly for the sake of their bond either. But he knew that Spencer would probably run a mile if he tried it, so he would be patient and try to show the genius how much he cared for him.

~*~

The case with the kidnapped girls was hard on the whole team. The thought of the horrors that those girls had faced since they were eight years old would probably haunt the whole team for a long time to come. The only reason that they had even found out about them was because of the bravery of one of the kidnapped girls and that didn’t sit well with any of them.

It had taken everything in Spencer to stay away from the smug self-satisfied bastard because he would have probably killed the man after seeing the emotional damage the man had done to all those girls. He didn’t know how Aaron could stand to be anywhere near what he knew to be the absolute filth of the unsub’s psyche.

Knowing how much it had affected them, Spencer suggested that they pick Jack up from school and take him to the park. It would do them both good to be around the bundle of energy that was Jack. He invited JJ to bring Henry and Michael as well and somehow it ended up being the whole team. Morgan brought along his new guide Savannah as well. He had recently bonded with her after dating her for nearly a year and it was the first time he had brought her to a team outing after their bonding. Both of them looked very happy and settled in their bond and it made Spencer very happy for his friend.

Aaron had been gratified that Spencer had suggested a trip to the park with Jack. It was the first time that the younger man had suggested spending time together but then it turned into a team outing, usually, it was Aaron who suggested and Spencer who acquiesced with some persuasion. They all needed the time away from work to recharge after the last case and it ended up being an enjoyable evening ending with the whole team plus their kids and significant others at Rossi’s for a cookout. But Aaron was a little disappointed that it hadn’t been just Spencer and him and Jack. He supposed they would just have to take Jack to the museum or something that weekend and Aaron began planning quietly.

That night Spencer changed into his pyjamas and climbed into Aaron’s bed without prompting. They could both use the comfort and the warm feelings over the bond from Aaron helped Spencer settle down and sleep without nightmares. Aaron was ecstatic. He tried not to read into it too much but Spencer had been the one to suggest the park and he had joined Aaron in his bed without prompting, hope blossomed in Aaron’s heart despite his best efforts to keep it down a little.

~*~

Seeing Agent Sulzbach’s life laid out in his house and his body lying undiscovered for so long reminded Spencer of Gideon. He knew he was on a similar path. Living his life alone with the work as the only thing in his life. It made him wonder who would be standing over his body, who would even notice he was dead? Who would remember him when he was gone? Would he just be remembered as the oddity on the BAU team, the sentinel who was freakishly smart and never bonded? Or would he end up in a nursing home like his mother slowly losing his mind and memories?

Then having to take Andrew Meeks’ life, it all added up for Spencer and he needed some time to himself. He finished his paperwork as quickly as possible and left without saying goodbye to anyone. He knew he was probably worrying Aaron but it couldn’t be helped. He just wasn’t in a condition to be around people right now.

Spencer just walked where his feet took him and when his phone rang he almost considered not answering but then he saw it was Penelope and she wouldn’t call so soon unless it was urgent so he answered and it was the worst news he had had in a while. His friend, his brother, was missing, probably kidnapped by someone connected to the hitmen they had caught a few months ago.

By the time they found Morgan and brought him back home Spencer was near-feral with rage that someone would dare harm someone he considered his family. He managed to pull himself together enough to stay in the hospital to make sure that Morgan would be alright. Once Morgan woke up the news that he was going to be a father and actually marry Savannah was very welcome and helped calm Spencer down a little. But deep down he knew it wasn’t over. The people who had tried to hurt Morgan would try again and Spencer resolved to find out who had done this before they hurt someone else in his family.

Spencer searched, he helped Garcia with her searches trying to narrow things down to find out who had hired the people who had taken Morgan. He researched cures to help Morgan heal from his white phosphorus burns. It was gratifying that Morgan had listened to enough of his rambles to be able to help heal some of the burn by himself and save his life. Spencer wouldn’t stop until he had found Morgan’s tormentor.

                                                                           ~*~

Aaron could feel Spencer pulling away. All the effort he had put in, all the time they had spent together and after the case in LA, it was like they were back where they had started. He didn’t really blame the man. He understood how hard it was to see Morgan so hurt but he wished the universe would stop trying to break his sentinel. Spencer deserved a break. He deserved some happiness and Aaron was determined to give it to him. But first, they had to find the man who had hired Morgan’s kidnappers.

Aaron knew that the whole team were secretly looking despite the directive from Cruz to stop and hand over the case to another team. Hell, he was still looking, himself and he was sure that Morgan, despite being on medical leave and his upcoming wedding, was looking as well. He remembered well the drive to find the man who threatened his family when Foyet had attacked him and he was sure that Morgan was the same.

Despite their efforts, they weren’t able to narrow it down until Savannah was shot. Savannah getting shot nearly sent Morgan into a feral rage and only his fear for her life and the health of his unborn baby kept him stable enough to wait for news in the hospital. But as soon as he figured out where Chaz Montolo was Morgan couldn’t hold back any longer. When they got to the scene it was obvious to everyone that Morgan had literally ripped the man apart and was crouched over the remains like a feral animal guarding its kill. A feral sentinel is dangerous to everyone around him and only the news of his son’s birth brought Morgan back from the brink after he had killed Montolo.

Aaron was glad that they got Morgan back and into the hospital to greet his son but despite the subsequent investigation into Montolo’s death being ruled justifiable the upper brass were still not happy with Morgan and the man made it easy for Aaron by quitting to spend more time with his family. Aaron was happy for Morgan since it seemed to be what he wanted but he knew the toll it would take on his sentinel. Spencer put on a brave face and encouraged Morgan to leave but Aaron could feel the younger man’s pain over their bond despite his best efforts.

It was nice to have Emily back for a little while but eventually, she left and Spencer’s quiet grief, the depth of which he managed to conceal from everyone but Aaron, was driving Aaron mad. He didn’t know how to help his sentinel and it only got worse after Antonia Slade poked at it. Aaron could kill her for the pain she had caused his sentinel. The best Aaron could do was stay as close as Spencer allowed him and make sure that Spencer spent plenty of time with Jack and his godsons. The boys were the only thing that managed to bring a genuine smile to Spencer’s face.

~*~

Being arrested in front of Jack was Aaron’s worst nightmare come to life. All those guns pointed at him and Jack, Henry and JJ’s fear bombarding him from the other direction made things almost unbearable for Aaron. The cuffed him with zip ties and hauled him downtown like a common criminal, not allowing him to speak to any of his team or his son.

The best Aaron could do was reach over his bond with Spencer and reassure him that he was alright. The amount of worry he felt in return from his sentinel warmed his heart and he sent those warm feelings and love back along the bond and almost laughed at the feeling of sheer bewilderment he felt from Spencer. Trust his sentinel not to know how much he was loved despite all Aaron’s efforts to prove it to him.

By the time they had stopped the prison break and the bomb, Aaron was exhausted and more than ready to go home and reassure himself that Spencer was still alive and whole. Hearing gunshots from the direction he knew his sentinel was in, brought a whole new level of terror for Aaron. Aaron wanted to push Spencer against the nearest flat surface and check every inch of him- preferably with his tongue- but he’d settle for just his eyes.

The best Aaron managed was to cajole a belligerent Jack to bed early so he could hold Spencer close all night as his sentinel slept. Aaron found it hard falling asleep even with Spencer’s warm presence next to him. In the end, Aaron allowed himself to wrap his thoughts and emotions around Spencer’s and allowed his sentinel’s dreaming mind to soothe him to sleep as well.

~*~


	8. Chapter 8

The subsequent months chasing the escaped killers, especially Mr. Scratch, were harrowing and only Spencer’s presence at the edge of Aaron’s consciousness helped keep him sane. It helped stave off Aaron’s panic attacks whenever he remembered what Peter Lewis had made him see. The thought of his entire team and especially Spencer dying in front of him was enough to bring Aaron to his knees. Spencer could usually sense his guide’s panic and was always there in his mind and within arm’s reach to reassure Aaron that none of it was true.

Spencer could see the toll it was taking on Aaron and it made him angrier than ever that that man, that monster had dared to hurt his guide so much even from behind bars. The sentinel was more determined than ever to find Lewis and send him back to jail where he belonged. Ever since Peter Lewis had tried to frame Hotch for the prison break and terrorist event it had become very personal for Spencer. He couldn’t really explain it to himself and he didn’t want to examine his feelings too closely but he knew that he couldn’t allow Scratch to hurt Hotch or Jack any more than he already had. He refused to believe that he now had a parental bond with Jack; he knew he would never be able to survive breaking either that bond or his slowly deepening bond with Aaron. Every time they slept in the same bed together and Aaron wrapped himself around his mind like a protective blanket the bond deepened and soon there would be no going back at all. But Spencer refused to acknowledge it.

The case in California with the arsonist had been excruciating for them all, especially JJ, but Spencer knew that the best thing for her was to reconnect with her sentinel, Will, and he left her alone merely letting her know that he would be there for her if she needed him. Hotch kept Jack closer than usual for a few days after the case until Jack protested. Spencer could understand the need to keep the boy close but he managed to talk Aaron into letting up on his clinginess for Jack’s sake as much as his own.

                                                                            ~*~

Aaron was finishing up his paperwork after his last-minute budget meeting with Cruz so he could join Spencer and Jack at his soccer game when he got the call that caused his heart to stop for a second before starting up a stuttering rhythm again.

“Hotchner.” He answered the phone distracted with trying to finish his work.

Spencer had volunteered to pick Jack up and take him to his soccer game that day and Aaron was supposed to join them before the match started. Both Jack and Aaron were delighted that Spencer would be at the game.

“Aaron, they’re both fine but they had to take both Spencer and Jack to the S&G centre,” Dave said trying and failing to reassure Aaron.

“I’ll meet you there in 20 minutes,” Aaron said hanging up quickly. He felt along his bond to Jack and relaxed as he felt merely a slight worry and nothing more from the boy. From Spencer, the emotions were muted as though the younger man was unconscious. But what he could feel was wild and protective. He could only guess at what would have driven Spencer to a feral state.

He blew out a breath and tried to focus himself. Jack and Spencer needed him, he had to keep it together if he was going to reassure Jack and get Spencer out of his feral state. How he managed to drive himself to the centre he never remembered but he was soon walking through the doors of the centre and being shown to the isolation room where they were keeping Spencer and Jack. It seemed that even in his unconscious state Spencer had refused to let Jack go so they had left them together.

When he let himself into the room the amount of blood covering both Jack and Spencer made Aaron’s breath catch in his throat but he forced himself to focus on Spencer’s feral gaze which was trained on him unblinkingly.

“Spencer, Spence? I’m Jack’s father, you know he’s safe with me. You know I would never allow anything to hurt him. Will you let him come to me?” He asked softly attempting to soothe Spencer through the bond as well as with his words.

Slowly Spencer uncurled from his protective posture and allowed Jack to run to his father.

“Dad! There’s something wrong with Spencer. Can you help him?” Jack asked rushing to hug Aaron.

“I’m going to try Jack. Would you go outside? Dave will take you to clean up. You’re not hurt are you?” Aaron asked but he sensed no pain or discomfort from Jack, just concern for Spencer. He was a little amazed at the strength of the parental bond he felt between the two of them. He had had no idea that the bond had formed. He had hoped when Jack started spending so much time with Spencer but he hadn’t been sure. He hoped that this would help with bringing Spencer out of his feral state.

“No, there was a man watching us practising before the game and Spencer just went after him. I think he killed him. Then he came back and hustled me into a corner and wouldn’t let me move till they brought us here. All the blood is the bad man’s. I don’t think Spencer was hurt at all either. But his mind feels weird right now.” Jack answered throwing a glance towards the still softly growling sentinel.

“Alright. Go clean up and stay with Dave. Don’t go anywhere without one of my team.” Aaron said and ushered a reluctant Jack out of the room. When Jack stepped out of the room Spencer made a protesting sound and growled louder but Aaron sent soothing thoughts over the bond and he settled down again.

Aaron was a little relieved that Spencer was allowing him to calm him over the bond and into his space like this. It meant that there was still some of his sentinel left in there and he could bring him back.

Aaron approached the sentinel slowly and Spencer uncurled from his crouch and stalked towards him. As he neared Aaron he sniffed at him.

“You are my Aaron.”

“Yes. I’m yours. Your guide.” Aaron said breath catching at Spencer calling him his.

Spencer stepped closer and pinned Aaron to the wall and licked a stripe up Aaron’s neck making Aaron bite back a moan at the sensation.

“Yes, mine and not mine. Gonna fix that. Gonna make you mine completely.” Spencer growled coming even closer and pressing his body to Aaron’s from chest to thighs.

Aaron moaned at the sensation and tried to hold on to his awareness before he lost himself in Spencer.

“Spencer. Are-are you sure? Do you really want me?” Aaron pressed trying to give Spencer one last out even though he knew Spencer wasn’t coherent.

“Oh yes! You. Are. Mine.” Spencer murmured into Aaron’s neck as he nibbled and sucked his way down towards his collarbone.

Aaron moaned and gave up. He wanted this. He wanted this more than he wanted his next breath and he couldn’t gather the willpower to stop Spencer even if he wanted to. Besides this might be the only way to snap the sentinel out of his feral state. He just hoped that Spencer didn’t hate him too much when he was back to himself.

Sighing into the kiss Spencer pressed to his mouth he let go of all his shields and sank fully into Spencer’s mind. He knew that Spencer had probably centred sight, sound, touch and hearing on him already. All that was left was taste which the kiss would cover. As Spencer licked his way into Aaron’s mouth Aaron felt the bond snap into place completely. So bright and beautiful in his mind’s eye that it caused his eyes to prickle at the beauty. So strong, so very strong. It made him feel complete in himself for the first time in a long time and he sent those feeling back down the bond to Spencer and felt him come back to himself.

Aaron knew the moment Spencer was himself again because the genius stopped kissing Aaron and backed away slowly a look of horror on his face that broke Aaron’s heart.

“No, oh no what have I done? What have I done? I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, Aaron. I-I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.” Spencer said moving further away from his guide until he was curled in a ball of misery on the floor in the corner head between his knees as he hugged his knees to his body and rocked

“Spencer, Spence. Please. Look at me. Come on Spencer, look at me.” Aaron begged as he moved closer to Spencer, reluctant to touch as he wasn’t sure his heart to take it if Spencer flinched away from his touch.

“I’m sorry Aaron. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much better than me. So much better than a damaged sentinel.” Spencer said lifting heartbroken hazel eyes to Aaron’s brown gaze. The look in his eyes was so hurt and lost that Aaron couldn’t help himself. He sat down on the floor next to Spencer and pulled him into his lap despite Spencer’s feeble efforts to stop him.

“Spencer, stop. You can feel the bond. I know you can. Does it feel like you forced me? Does it feel like I’m unhappy with it? Or that I don’t want you? Spencer love, I’ve been trying to tell you for months now that I don’t want to break our bond. Why do you think I never looked for any other sentinel? I love you, Spencer. You. Jack loves you too. Spencer, you have been a part of our lives for so long. You have a bond with Jack that is almost as strong as mine with him. It was strong enough to send you feral when you sensed a threat to him. Spencer that in itself would be enough for me to fall in love with you. And then there’s the fact that you are brilliant, gorgeous, kind and so compassionate. How could I not fall in love with you? Please don’t retreat from me. Please, love.” Aaron begged burying his face in Spencer’s hair.

Spencer turned to look at him a startled expression in his damp hazel eyes.

“You love me?” he asked tremulously, hope beginning to creep into his eyes.

“Yes, my sentinel. I love you and I couldn’t be happier to be yours completely. Finally.” Aaron answered bending to kiss trembling pink lips. He couldn’t hold in his moan as his lips pressed into Spencer’s slightly chapped ones as the taste sparked shivers down his spine even in the awkward position they were in. Spencer clung close twisting in Aaron’s arms and deepening the kiss, unwilling to pull away until the need to breathe was stronger than their need to keep kissing. Just barely.

“But are you sure? I mean you know about mom….do you really want to take the risk with me? With Jack?” Spencer asked uncertainly when the kiss ended.

“The odds are minuscule, love. I think we’ll be just fine. And if by some horrible chance you do get sick then I will be with you every step of the way. I don’t think either Jack or I would regret it, being there for you when you need us. We would regret if we let you go and never tried on the off chance that you get sick. Spencer, we love you. Stay with us.” Aaron said holding Spencer as close as he could.

Spencer uncurled from his position and turned in Aaron’s arms until he could wrap his long limbs around Aaron moving closer to his guide until they were flush against each other. Spencer’s legs were around Aaron’s waist and his hands had found purchase in Aaron’s short cropped hair as he kissed the guide to within an inch of his life.

“I….um….I love you too.” Spencer admitted, his pale skin taking on a pinkish tinge that was barely visible under all the blood, “You and Jack, both.” He finished before he buried his face in Aaron’s neck inhaling the scent of his guide to ground him.

“We know, Spence. Now, do you think maybe you might take a shower to clean off the blood so I can make sure you’re not hurt? I think you owe me some proper bonding sex after that, my sentinel.” Aaron purred thrilling a little to be able to call Spencer his as Spencer pulled back and looked at himself properly.

“Oh, ugh. It’s a wonder you could stand holding me for so long.” He said gracefully standing up and holding out a hand to pull Aaron up with him, “Wanna join me? Maybe we can get a start on that sex I owe you in the shower?” he leered making Aaron smile back.

“Oh no, we’re doing it properly when we get home, I want you in a bed for our first time. But sure, let’s get you in the shower.” Aaron said helping Spencer peel off his bloodstained clothes, some of which was stuck to his skin with blood. Luckily when he had taken all the clothes off he didn’t see any cuts or bruises on Spencer’s skin. He wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to touch a wet, naked Spencer.

“Mmmhmm,” Spencer answered as he adjusted the temperature on the shower and stepped inside. Aaron quickly stripped himself and stepped inside pressing himself to Spencer’s back.

“You’re so beautiful my sentinel. So very beautiful.” Aaron said turning Spencer around to face him as he admired the hard planes and toned muscles of his sentinel’s body. He had felt those muscles and that strength when he had been wrapped in Spencer’s arms before but this was the first time he was getting to see him bared completely to his gaze.

Spencer smiled shyly as he admired Aaron in turn, “It’s not me who’s beautiful. It’s you.” He answered leaning forward to kiss Aaron.

“Why don’t you do your hair and I’ll wash the rest of you, Spencer?”

Aaron pulled away after the kiss and grabbed the sentinel friendly shower gel provided and carefully methodically began to scrub off the blood off Spencer’s body. He made sure to wash every inch of his sentinel and Spencer who would normally be squirming from all the attention allowed him to do it without a word of protest. He could feel Aaron’s concern over their new bond and wasn’t that just the most wonderful feeling. He knew that this was Aaron’s way of reassuring himself that his sentinel was completely unhurt.

Aaron sighed in relief when he had finished washing Spencer’s body and found not even a scratch. By the time he was done, Spencer had washed and conditioned his hair as well. They stepped out of the shower together. Aaron grabbed a towel and gently wiped down Spencer before quickly drying himself, while the sentinel dried his hair.

As soon as they were reasonably dry Spencer, who was positively vibrating with eagerness, grabbed Aaron’s hand and dragged him into the other room. He pushed Aaron down onto the bed and straddled his hips leaning forward to pin Aaron’s wrists above him onto the bed.

“Now, we’re in a reasonably comfortable bed. Jack is safe with the team and we’re unlikely to be disturbed for a while. So what do you say we make the most of it, hmm? I do owe you some bonding sex, I believe.” Spencer purred a predatory look in his hazel eyes as he moved his hands to hold both of Aaron’s in his right hand as his left hand stroked along Aaron’s cheek before trailing down his neck.

Aaron arched into his touch and hmmed his agreement unable to find the words as Spencer’s touch burned a line of fire down his body leading straight to his cock. With just that one touch Aaron was hard and aching for his sentinel.

Spencer smirked at his response and leaned forward to follow the trail left by his hand with his lips and tongue his own cock hardening as he tasted the wonderfully warm unique taste of his guide.

“Have I mentioned, you taste wonderful? I can’t quite place it but I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it. Keep your hands there.” Spencer said letting go of Aaron’s hands with a slight squeeze for emphasis and Aaron nodded.

Spencer trailed kisses down Aaron’s neck and shoulders, nipping and sucking as he went making Aaron moan and writhe in his arms. Every touch set off nerve ends Aaron hadn’t even known he had.

“You are so very delightfully responsive my guide. I love that about you.” Spencer murmured as he continued his kisses down Aaron’s chest until he reached a nipple.

Spencer bit down sharply on the nipple and then soothed it with his tongue causing Aaron to cry out and arch into his mouth. His hands made an abortive movement to touch Spencer but in the end, he managed to keep them where they were.

“Good, Aaron. Very good. If you keep your hands there I’ll reward you very well.” Spencer said smiling down at his guide who whimpered at the words.

Spencer repeated it with the other nipple before moving downwards to swirl his tongue in Aaron’s naval ignoring the erect cock that was nudging his chin.

“So eager for me, my guide.”

He continued down Aaron’s legs nipping and sucking his way down to his feet before making his way back up Aaron’s body again. Aaron was so stimulated it was almost painful. But he couldn’t find the words to tell Spencer. All he could do was thrash his head from side to side and whimper and Spencer continued his slow pleasurable exploration of Aaron’s body.

Spencer nuzzled into Aaron’s groin taking in the delightful scent of his guide which was strongest here before mouthing at Aaron’s balls, taking first one and then the other in his mouth and sucking on them. Aaron curled his hands into fists, clutching at the pillows and covers to keep from reaching for Spencer. He wanted to please his sentinel and he was eager for his reward.

“Spencer.” Aaron cried out finally finding his voice.

“Yes, Aaron. Tell me, tell me what you want.”

“You….want you….please Spencer. Please. Ugnnnnh.” Aaron gasped as Spencer took the tip of Aaron’s cock in his mouth and sucked on it like a lollipop.

Spencer licked along the vein at along the bottom of Aaron’s cock before taking it fully into his mouth and swallowing around it making Aaron positively howl at the pleasure suffusing his body.

Spencer savoured the taste of his guide as he licked and sucked at Aaron’s cock driving Aaron higher and higher until he came with a wordless cry. Spencer swallowed everything Aaron had to offer and with a few more languid sucks of Aaron’s cock to clean him up he pulled off and smiled hungrily down at the panting man.

Aaron smiled back and as soon as he caught his breath he pulled Spencer into a kiss tasting himself on Spencer’s tongue. The taste made him moan even as his cock twitched with interest.

“Make love to me my sentinel. Fuck me, make me yours.” Aaron breathed against Spencer’s lips making Spencer moan.

Spencer was hard and aching, tasting his guide feeling Aaron come apart over the bond had nearly made him lose control of his own arousal as well.

“Let me know if I hurt you.” Spencer said reaching into the bedside table and pulling out the lube and placing it beside Aaron, “Turn over.”

“I want to see your face.” Aaron protested.

“And you will. But I’m not done exploring.” Spencer said a predatory smile on his face that caused Aaron to gulp and turn over eagerly. Spencer was going to be the death of him, but what a way to go.

The sentinel transferred his attentions to Aaron’s neck and shoulders moving downwards over his back and buttocks, nipping and sucking and marking Aaron in a way that thrilled Aaron to his core. He had always liked having those marks of possession from a lover but Haley had considered it barbaric and refused to mark him or allow him to mark her.  He had never had the urge to mark Beth and that in itself should have told him it was doomed from the start. The fact that Spencer would mark him without Aaron even having to ask warmed something deep in Aaron’s heart.

Aaron twisted and pulled Spencer down for a kiss that was just as passionate as before but this time it held all the tenderness and love Aaron felt for Spencer.

“Aaron. Love you.” Spencer sighed as the kiss broke.

“Love you too. So much, my Spencer.” Aaron said stroking Spencer’s cheek softly and staring at Spencer’s lips for a moment before rising to meet his hazel gaze.

“Yes, yours. Completely yours my guide. My Aaron.” Spencer returned before he pulled away gently and went back to his explorations.

He nipped at one of Aaron’s butt cheeks making the man squirm beneath him.

Spencer gently parted the globes before blowing softly on Aaron’s puckered hole. Aaron gasped but stayed still as Spencer leaned forward and placed wet kissed to the eager pucker. He slowly darted his tongue out and tasted the hole, lapping at the edges before pushing gently into it.

Spencer probed and licked at Aaron’s entrance making him moan and sigh with pleasure his cock rising and filling despite his recent satiation. It seemed that Spencer just had to touch him and Aaron would rise to the occasion. Silently wishing that that never changed Aaron groaned in response to Spencer adding a lubed finger along with his tongue.

Gently Spencer alternated between fingering Aaron and rimming him crooking his fingers just right to make Aaron see stars until Aaron was just a moaning writhing mess under him. When he was sure that Aaron couldn’t take any more and he turned Aaron over and kissed him.

Spencer removed his fingers from Aaron’s ass and lined himself up with Aaron’s eager hole.

“Ready?” he asked and at Aaron’s nod, he slowly pushed inside.

When the head of his cock passed the rim both men groaned at the sensation. After taking a moment for Aaron to adjust to the feeling of being filled and to control his own arousal Spencer pushed in until he was balls deep inside his guide.

“Gods Aaron. You feel so good. So good.” Spencer gasped as he leaned down and rested his forehead against Aaron’s.

“Move, Spencer. Please.” Aaron cried wrapping his legs around his sentinel.

“God, you look so sexy right now. You are so perfect. So very perfect.” Spencer sighed as he began to move in a steady rhythm that got faster and faster and more erratic as it drove both men over the edge as their shared arousal over the bond pulled them over at the same time.

They lay panting together with Spencer collapsed on top of Aaron they had never felt closer to each other. When Spencer moved to get up Aaron held him close making a protesting sound.

“Need to clean up before we stick together,” Spencer muttered but he acquiesced lying back down on top of Aaron, still inside him.

“Oh, fine.” Aaron huffed and Spencer pressed a fond kiss to his forehead and pulled away heading towards the bathroom to get some wet towels to clean up both of them. When it was done he tossed the towels in the direction of the bathroom and lay down next to Aaron pulling him into his arms, spooning up behind his guide.

“So? Was that enough ‘proper’ bonding sex for you my guide?” Spencer asked smirking into Aaron’s hair.

“Hmmm. For now.” Aaron replied twining his hand with Spencer’s where it rested over Aaron’s heart.

“Insatiable. Who knew the strait-laced Aaron Hotchner was so insatiable.” Spencer chuckled.

“Only for you, my sentinel. Only for you.” Aaron replied sleepily as he suppressed a yawn.

“You know, in a weird way we have Mr. Scratch to thank for us being together like this,” Spencer muttered sleepily.

“What? What do you mean?” Aaron asked surprise banishing sleep as he turned in Spencer’s arms to face the younger man.

“Hmm oh. If not for him dosing you, you’d never have come online and we wouldn’t have formed the partial bond. And if I hadn’t seen him stalking Jack at his game today and gone feral we wouldn’t be right here right now.” Spencer answered, “You didn’t know it was him I killed today?” he asked puzzled.

“No…no I didn’t bother to ask. Clearly, the threat was past or you wouldn’t have allowed them to tranq you, so it didn’t matter who it was. Just that you were both safe. You and Jack were my priority. So I guess I forgot to ask Dave when he called. Peter Lewis has a lot to answer for but at least he won’t hurt anyone anymore. Even if he did bring us together unintentionally.” Aaron sighed pulling Spencer closer.

“Forget him. Sleep now my guide. We’ll take Jack and go home soon enough.” Spencer said cuddling closer as their spirit animals curled up together like their people and fell asleep.

Soon they would go home and then there would be the aftermath of Spencer’s feral episode to face and all their issues with the bureau but with good friends and his sponsor’s help, Spencer was sure that they would get through it and be happy. Bonding with Aaron seemed to have made him uncharacteristically optimistic. He liked it.

**Fin**


	9. Chapter 9

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/11605764@N03/42608118612/in/album-72157689814211804/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. All done. Hope you guys liked it.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be posting every Friday until it is done. The fic is all written and just needs betaing.


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